Toxic positivity simply means that one should stay positive in every situation. And, I don’t believe in the fact that one should be positive every time. It is okay to not be okay. Sometimes crying can calm you down and you cannot stay positive while crying. I accept that, yes, this topic is very optimistic and maybe it motivates people but one can't be positive every time.
What I feel is this toxic positivity thing can only be talked about and not be applied in real life. For instance, you just lost your job and quickly you can’t make yourself positive. You will cry or be depressed, share your pain with others and after some time, you can become positive. To be positive, first, you shared your pain, you cried and that’s what made you strong and positive. When you’re in pain, you should be open and honest rather than trying to be fake positive.
Having a positive outlook on life is a wonderful thing. But here, the problem is, you cannot be POSITIVE every time. Like you deal with pleasant emotions while being happy, you too face painful emotions while being sad. Can you be depressed while you’re getting a job? No, similar to this, you can’t be positive while you lost someone or any bad time.
For instance, you lost your job and people tell you to stay positive. I mean this is illogical. Just saying “be positive” doesn’t help. Instead, you should try giving a solution to that person rather than saying, be positive. From now, stop saying be positive to anyone who is depressed. I was also this person some time ago, but now I’ve realized that it’s so illogical.
Another thing is, some people use “happiness is a choice”; this too doesn’t make any sense. We are never going to understand what a sad person is feeling. Now, when we say this line to a sad person, they’ll not get comforted. We are doing this wrong. People cannot be happy while going through hard times. These responses are harmful, you may be trying to be empathetic by saying be positive but these statements are often intentioned and wrong.
This Toxic positivity thing is included in controversial topics because positivity can be toxic sometimes. And, we are making it toxic. We can never go through how another person is feeling. If someone lost their loved ones, we say "everything will be fine." They too know everything will be fine one day, we don’t need to tell them. Instead of using these sympathetic words, we should take care of them and be their power to fight hard times.
The good vibes only thing is so toxic, believe me. Too much-forced positivity will not help. We are humans and we react differently to different situations. Our reaction to situations is natural, let’s not force people to react differently in situations. Giving reactions or expressing emotions is all in an individual’s hands. Who are we to force people to be positive?
You tell me, how can people "look into the bright side" when they are suffering poverty, unemployment, illness, job loss, injustice? These situations and can go worst and you suggest people "be positive." Wow, you are going the wrong way. Such toxic positivity messages damage people’s emotions. And for those who hide their feelings and try to be positive in front of people, it’s not okay, stop doing it. Instead, share your feelings or focus more on getting the solutions.
And, RESEARCH HAS SHOWN THAT ACCEPTING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS MAY BE MORE
BENEFICIAL FOR A PERSON’S MENTAL HEALTH IN LONG RUN.
There are ways to address and solve negative emotions without falling into the toxic positivity thing. Let us all normalize to accept negative emotions. Recognize that your feeling is valid and it's okay to not be okay every time. The more to try being positive forcefully, the more you welcome discomfort and tension in you.
Let’s accept our situations and deal with them. Don’t listen to other’s words and just be you in every situation.
aww!
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